volume eight.

relaxed hair!


I began my natural hair journey a little over a month ago... i'm aiming towards this



or



& I'm sure I'll get there! I had amazing hair when I was younger (I'll try to dig up some pictures to add later] & after all of this DAMN relaxed hair is gone..I'll be back on board soon. But when I was washing and conditioning, a huge chunk in the back of my head broke off! I was DEVASTATED! but..at least its not noticeable. My bestie tells me I should get my hair straightened by some Dominicans... but I'm apprehensive. & then she tried to tell me heat's good for my hair. COME ON, B. lmao. GTFOH. But yeah, just wanted to share a bit of my journey... hopefuly I'll have a full head of AMAZING hair soon! lol...

volume seven.

i really didn't wanna do this and be all sexist. but whadev...this is MY shxt. lol.

guys&girls!

its like i just can't catch a break! geeze. i know guys call us complicated, but come on. i think i have the mentality of a guy, but there a certain things i just don't get. it's like no matter how hard you put yourself out there, guys don't see the signs unless you're say, "HEY YOU, I LIKE YOU." and who the hell wants to do that and risk getting shut down?! always complaining about how girls play games -- shxt the only reason why its because we're mirrors. we're gonna treat you the same way we're being treated. well maybe that's just me. its preposterous to speak for a whole gender. and seriously, after getting to know someone for about a week or two, you know if you could see yourself with them or not. don't string us along. its LAME as hell. when it ends up happening to you, then all females are gonna be bxtches. i'm not gonna say every guy plays games, plays women & lead em on. that'd be such a lie. i've met some amazing guys who don't do any of those things. but let's be real here: the good guys are in the house, the bad guys are all out & about...so guess which ones we're gonna run into more often? exactly.

also, what's up with not thinking things through before doing them? this isn't even just about guys anymore...its about everyone...don't hurt the one you're with if you don't want to be hurt. if you like her, SHOW her. if you don't, LET HER KNOW before she gets her heart set on you. girls, stop making that amazing guy your with pay the toll of what the asshole before him did to you. he had NOTHING to do with that! and on some real, thats when he's gonna turn into that asshole that you hate so much.

i don't understand why people try to make this relationship thing so difficult. its not hard at all. guys, stop always thinking with your dxck. girls, stop getting OH SO caught up. relax....when you look for love, thats when you damn sure won't find it. so sityoassdown somewhere. it IS okay to be single! geeze....

volume six.

thought i'd never write another (what really grinds my gears] since i've been high off happiness..but lets be realistic here. there's always gonna be something that grinds my gears! so todays' topic is...

hoaxes, cover-ups, & BULLSHXTTING.

now, I have to say...I LOVE RESEARCHING them & finding out the truth...its awesome...but the fact that America was built on lies in the first place? there's no hope. its just gonna keep building. but i actually understand why some people do it. i.e., michael jackson. now I can't say if its true or false...but if he did fake his death...I completely understand why! But balloon boy? Lame as hell. Womp on his parents. But its not the actually hoaxes themselves that grind my gears, its the fact that people act like others won't uncover the truth. Like everyone in the world is so unobservant, which is completely ignorant. The whole 9|11 thing? Seriously? Like we didn't know the Bush family was having breakfast w|the Bin Ladens while the towers were hit? What a "coincidence". Those are funny. I was talking with an important someone today about them...and the truth is, I don't really believe in them. I feel everything happens for a reason. Because something happened to make that something else happen.... Maybe I think too much, but maybe that's a good thing. It means I can see past all the bullshxt....can you?

(good]*sighh..

this is CRAZY. its crazy for me to feel this way for you.




that is all.

i'm good.

maybe that's why i had that song on repeat for so long today. (I'm Good - Clipse] i feel really good! i know i'm still supposed to be moping & crying, but i'm not. i feel so good. he's still in my life, and even through all the pain -- he's an amazing person & i couldn't stand not having him here. he's my best friend. yeah, yeah, yeah...awkward. whadev. he is though. if we work out someday, so be it. that'd be amazing. & if we don't, life goes on. its not the end of us, just a new beginning. & i've met a few amazing kids recently... (i swear if i lived in NC, you'd be my mine. pointblank.] lol. but i'm doing my thinggg. looking for a job. planning on going to school soon...gotta get all my papers straight. gotta get my car. i'm just growing up & it feels damn good. i feel like i've grown so much from this experience. so thank you AMH, for breaking my heart. i promise, you've made me SUCH a better person. real shxt.