st. elsewhere.

ever found a song that epitomizes exactly how you're feeling?

St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley

I packed a few of my belongings
Left the life that I was living
Just some memories of it
Mostly the ones I can't forget

Whenever you need me I'll be here
Until then my dear
I'm going, I'm going, I'm going there
Don't ask me to make time
To travel back and forth
Let nature take it's course
Maybe I'm open from all this ocean air
And if it weren't for you I'd be without a care
Setting sail to St. Elsewhere

Anywhere you sit you can see the sun
Unfortunately on this island I'm the only one
Same rules apply on a rainy day
And it's not such a pretty place to be
It just rains, and rains, and rains on me
Send a simple side, I can understand
Then a flower grew out that sand
Before you knew it, I was back out on that sea
Now I don't mind it so much
Because as long as I'm not there
Anywhere is St. Elsewhere

Way over yonder there is new frontier
Would it be so hard for you to come and visit me here?
I understand
Would you just send me a message in a bottle then baby?
St. Elsewhere

dream to make believe;

inspired by a song called Dream To Make Believe by Armor For Sleep. Go listen to it right now if you haven't heard it before.

dream; To let the mind run on in idle revery or vagary; to anticipate vaguely as a coming and happy reality; to have a visionary notion or idea; to imagine; to see, or have a vision of, in sleep, or in idle fancy; -- often followed by an objective clause.

anticipation clouds the mind as my eyes drift low.
i'll soon be with you again, love.
as i fade into unconsciousness, appears your beautiful angelic face.
commonly, with ones dreams
they've dreamt of what may be
i dream of what was

can you fathom that?
going back to where we've been
over and over and over again?

a personal paradise of sorts
complete & udder euphoria!
every moment, filled with genuine happiness
quickly fades away with the suns hello

my eyes slowly creep open to my
personal nightmare
it was only a dream
it was only a dream

angel faces like yours,

look what you did to us.
look what you did to me.
what a wonderful love lost,
wouldn't you agree?

i might have to;

change the name of this blog.

things rarely bother me anymore. i have a new outlook on life. i can't say i'm completely a changed person, but i'm definitely trying to better myself. i can't let people control my emotions. i can't keep bottling up my emotions like i've been doing all my life, because sooner or later shxts gonna boil over. i've finally realized that i can't save the world. i can't help everyone, because everyone doesn't want to be helped. some people just have to help themselves. also, sad to say i've learned that i can't depend on everyone i call my friends. but that's just a part of life. it's a part of growing up.

also;
i've decided to go natural =) i wanna 2001-era kelis afro! there's absolutely no point in me spending 4-5 hours every other saturday just to leave & go home & fix my hair the way that i want it to be. & i miss how my hair was when i was young. i know its never gonna be the same, but i think ts better that wasting $90 a month....

& finally;
i've come to the conclusion that people in long-term relationships spend so much time trying to prepare & safeguard their future with that person that they ruin today. its amazing to want to spend the rest of your life with that person. but don't throw the future in their face so much that they wouldn't want to be with you.